How I Outsmart My Sweet Tooth (and Still Eat Clean)
Quick heads up: Recipes enclosed.
Yep. Actual, eat-this-tonight kind of recipes that make keto feel like cheating (without actually cheating).
When it comes to optimizing health, most pastors struggle with the most critical lever: their diet.
You can drink all the water, walk the prayer trail, and buy another ergonomic chair...
But if you’re still letting sugar and snack carbs run your life, you'll get about as far Mary Kay at a Mennonite convention.
The truth?
Sweets and snacks are the weak point.
That’s why this article matters.
If you can hack your snack game, you're one step closer to bullet-proofing your optimization plan.
Why You Stay On The Struggle Bus
You’re not failing at keto because you’re hungry.
You’re failing because at 9:13 PM—after preaching, meetings, emails, and half a counseling session that turned into therapy for you—you wander into the kitchen looking for “just a little something.”
Five minutes later, you’re elbow-deep in a bag of trail mix that somehow has more M&Ms than nuts.
I get it.
Been there. Preached that.
Here’s the truth:
If you don’t get your snacking under control, you’ll never stay optimized.
Not because snacking is bad…
But because most snacks are trash.
Especially the sweet ones.
Especially the crunchy ones.
(And especially the ones that come from the gas station aisle marked “two for $3.”)
But here’s the good news:
You don’t have to eliminate sweets or snacks.
You just have to stop eating the ones that were manufactured in a chemical plant.
In this newsletter, I’ll show you how I cheat without quitting... keeping my carbs under 30g a day, eating clean, and staying on track.
(Even when the cravings hit like a bus.)
Let’s roll.
1. Sweet Cravings? I’m Armed and Ready.
Chocolate Fat Bombs
This is my go-to.
They’re rich, satisfying, and taste like dessert without the fallout.
Bonus: no weird ingredients that sound like something from a high school chemistry class.
Keto Chocolate
Yes, it exists.
And no, it doesn’t taste like drywall.
I’ve found a few brands I can eat without regret.
My current favorite:
ChocZero Keto Bark
Pro tip: eat it slowly and with purpose.
Like it’s a $12 dessert and you’re at a fancy restaurant. (This rewires your brain. I think.)
Fallback? This, if you shop at Sam's Club.
Low-Glycemic Fruit (in moderation)
I don’t eat bananas.
Or apples.
Or grapes.
They’re basically candy in a peel.
Might as well inject sugar directly into your veins.
But here’s what does work:
- Blueberries
- Raspberries
- Strawberries
- Blackberries
For any of those:
Unsweetened, used sparingly (like sermons about politics).
2. Crunch Cravings? Bring it.
Parm Crisps
Crunchy. Salty.
Basically cheese turned into a cracker.
I eat them on sardines. I crumble them over eggs and salads.
Sometimes I just crush the whole bag like a victory lap after a workout.
Pork Rinds (Honorable Mention. I Don’t Eat These.)
They’re zero carb and they scratch the “I need something to munch like chips” itch.
Just get the ones without the fake stuff.
If the ingredients list sounds like engine degreaser, skip it.
Seaweed Snacks
I call these “salty paper,” but they’re actually delicious.
Crunchy, oddly addictive, and only a few calories.
Perfect for that 3:15 PM temptation to fall face-first into a bag of Cheetos.
Nuts (a few, not a jar)
Macadamias, almonds, and pecans are all solid.
But be warned: if you eat out of the container, you’ll end up eating enough to feed a squirrel army.
Pre-portion them.
Be a grown-up.
Trail Mix (If The Right Kind)
Speaking of nuts, there’s a keto trail mix that’s so good, it’d be illegal as a drug.
Orchard Valley Harvest Go-go Keto Mix
No seed oils, keto friendly, and apparently made with magic.
Adults only. Be careful. Pre-portion!
3. Bonus Round: Other Cheats I Keep In Rotation
These are my backups when I’m tempted to go rogue:
- Rebel Ice Cream – keto-friendly, tastes pretty decent. That's been our go-to. But now... Publix and Kroger have recently introduced their own brands that taste even more like actual ice cream. (Sweetened correctly, not too much processing.) Pre-portion, use sparingly!
- Whipped Cream + Stevia + Cinnamon (Recipe) – tastes like dessert… with zero sugar
- Dark Chocolate Almond Butter Cups – Reese's cup alternative. Gotta love it.
- Avocado + Lime + Sea Salt – creamy, rich, and tastes expensive
- Cheddar cubes + pickles – fat, acid, and satisfaction in one bite
Bottom Line:
Here’s the raw truth:
You can’t optimize your energy, your focus, or your physique if your snack game is weak.
Most pastors don’t fall off the keto wagon during dinner—they fall off during unplanned snack attacks.
You binge because you didn’t build a plan.
You reach for junk because you didn’t stock their fridge like a man on a mission.
You eat what’s easy… and what’s easy is usually processed.
But these cheats?
They keep me clean.
They keep me sharp.
They keep me in ketosis while feeling like I’m off plan.
It’s like tricking your body into transformation.
(And your sweet tooth into shutting up.)
What To Do Next
1. Pick two or three of these cheats.
2. Go to the store. (Or hit those store links in the article.)
3. Stock your cabinet like your future self depends on it.
Because it does.
You don’t need more willpower.
You need better snacks.
Stay sharp, stay clean, and stop using your kid’s granola bars as an excuse.
More Resources To Help You Optimize
🥤Momentum Shake: The Complete Longevity Shake for Optimal Health
🎥 Sermon Shots: Repurpose Sermons Into Clips & Other Engaging Content in Minutes
💊 My (Scott's) full supplement regimen
